Bethersden north to Pluckley
Then west to Mundy Bois
To Egerton and the first check-in
Before a southwest turn
To Smarden Bell within four miles
At which a right is made
To battle on another two
Until the Maidstone Road
The A274 no less, at which
All riders make a left
To Biddenden a full two miles
By northern winds propelled
To reach the scary Woolpack Corner
Nigh a mile beyond
With right arm horizontal
To warn the speeding traffic
Negotiate a tricky right
For the hills to Benenden
Beneath the Hemsted Forest shade
With vineyards to the left
Until within four miles of this
A braking junction says
‘Benenden School’ is here within
(We educate princesses)
But for riders who are testing
Their reliability
Within one mile from this left turn
The second check-point looms
Then east through lovely Benenden
Where admirals rest eternal
To wheel-enamoured Rolvenden
With its motor car museum
Continue east to Tenterden
Down Rother’s swift descent
And up the painful gradient
To the Heronden domain
Through three or is it four stop lights
Until a bold right turn
To the Appledore descending road
And that eponymous haven
And then Brenzett and the bleak Rhee Wall
On the windy 259
Check point three is found therein
At the cold Old Romney turnoff
Heading east and north to Ivychurch
And the A two-nought and 70
Divert to Hamstreet
And the north through-road
A serious climb afoot
A mile or two of peace and calm
Then left to Bromley Green
And Shadoxhurst and the old King’s Head
At which a right is made
Through country lane for a mile or so
Of serious pothole hazard
Until the Bethersden to Ashford road
Makes tired riders smile
For a left turn here and another two miles
Will complete the whole ordeal
The fifty miles has been and gone
The canteen now awaits us
An ersatz coffee, a Kit-Kat bar – and
A merit certificate to reward us
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